Not living for a day...

For some reason, I seems to attract vehicles even at the traffic light junction when green man lights up for pedestrians crossing. I didn't know that my presence was so weak that even drivers don't seem to see me there at all. I wonder why is it this way. However, it just seems to be whining if you share this with others. Hence, I decided to just jot it here so as to remind myself about it.

Don't seem to have much luck today. Due to my lack of focus, it seems like I miss out doing quite a number of things and I should be serious in catching up on my reading and the work that I was supposed to complete. The unfortunate thing is I still do not have any idea in getting my focus back. It is easier for me to complete the things that I am supposed to do if I focus.

I think I will need some time with myself so that I can sort of my thoughts. No matter how tired I am, no matter how busy I am, I should find the time for myself so that I can keep myself sane even in the midst of stress, uncomfortable environment and unhappiness. That's why I going to take some time out to go for a walk or a cycle, perhaps I would calm myself down and find out where the problem lies.

Recently, I find it twice as difficult for me to smile. Giving fake smiles make me despise myself even more when I think about it afterwards. I wonder why did I do that. However, if I don't smile, it is difficult to work peacefully. Therefore, smiling is more like a reflex reaction for me, an action that would prevents unnecessary troubles come looking for me. It is almost as if I don't have enough problems to solve.

Given that I have no place to vent all the stress and frustrations, I guess it had taken a toll on me. If only I don't have to feel any of that in the first place. I need to adapt to a better thinking so that I can be slightly more stable.

Anyway, no matter what the sun will still rise everyday. There is nothing I can do but to try my best and move slightly forward everyday even though it may only seem to be a small step forward.