It has been a while since I last posted. I should have keep track more on my everyday experience. However, I am afraid time was one of the factors that resulted in this delay. Finally, I have some personal time for my to keep track of things right now. So I will be recording down some events that happened during this window.
First off, let us start with work related. It has never been a smooth journey for me in this respect. Most of the time, there are much challenges and misfit in the job I landed in. Now, it's no difference. Due to the nature of the job, there were limited resources and time for training. In addition, it is a whole new industry I am venturing into. I thought of giving myself more time to learn on my own and get used to the pace of the jobs and expectations of co-workers. However, I seem to have offended much of them due to unforeseen circumstances. Uncertainty in the future is indeed terrifying but it is something I will have to face on my own. The only good thing is that I am still on probation, a period where both party could terminate the contract on a short notice. I guess if the mismatch and gap is too great, it might be beneficial for us to terminate early and find a better fit.
Next will be about the course I planned to enter. I did not qualified for the course this year as I missed the entrance exam because of my previous work. I was called back as others are all on urgent leave and I had to cover for my department. Hence, I missed the exam. Yes, I can sign up for the exam next year but I will be graduating later. I need to consider my work load before that though. I am not sure if I will be staying with my current job due to various events and incidents just within a few days of work. No matter where I land, I will need to make sure I can manage my time well for my family, work then studies.
As for some personal events, this year one of my friends will be marrying. Time really flies. Everyone around me seems to be starting their very own family soon. Of course, except me who is still struggling much with all the basic needs. I think everyone has different priorities as we all have differing background. Hence, there is nothing much to compare between us. I will just need to continue to focus on what I need and want in my life.
I will be doing up some reviews on certain technology devices that I have research on. However, I am not sure when I will be posting them up. Though to the lack of time and energy after work. I will spend more than 11 hours in office (not including the time spent traveling to and fro work). OT was not payable for this job and I was told that during the interview. However, I was not told that I have to stay late in office everyday. I was only told to commit during the days of meetings. I guess that is the difference between your expectations and reality. Nevertheless, I will do them up when I have some time to spare.
Recently, I begin to realize that your will and determination to achieve your goal, may not be reflected in reality. Perhaps it is because I did not factor in the variables to make my expectations closer to reality. Or it might be really my luck. I don't seem to have any, apart from having a great parent. Perhaps I should not be too optimistic about the future. But we all do that, believing that if we suffer now, we will live better in future. Not that we don't know there is a possibility that we won't. We just believe it the way we wanted. I will figure out a way out of the mess eventually. Perhaps by experiencing and understanding myself more will help.
Today is a Sunday, I hope you guys have enough rest this weekend. Have a good rest and we will be preparing for a week of work up ahead. Mine would be a bumpy one.
No matter how our lives are, we will just have to keep smiling and believing one day we will achieve what we want. For me, I am just glad I have all I need today. My family and my freedom. More than enough.
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