The truth is I dread waking up this morning due to the amount of stress I need to face today. After some mental struggles, I still manage to get myself prepare to go to work.
Basically, I called up the credit management company again and they said they were not the one who did that and pushed the responsibility to the bank, saying that they shouldn't have done that. After much debate, they said that they have to check with the bank and give me a call back. I called them at around 9.30am, I have not received any response from them. If I didn't give it a check, I wonder will they just make a pass with this. Well, I was not being calm in the morning, however, as the day passed, with more work to handle and more stress to handle, my energy drop to a level at which I can't even think much any more. This is when I started to calm down and tidy up my thoughts. Though it is still in a hell of a mess, least I come to a consensus that I will still have to live even being a burden as I am.
As a family, we tend to feel useless when we can't help each other much, but this also shows how much we love each other and how much we mean to each other. This is probably the one love I would know. The only one I am holding on and keeps me moving on.
Logically, when there is always a way out, when you are unable to live any more, one way is to choose not to live. It's also a way out. Not necessary a good one. However, there are some who opposed to such thinking, saying that life is precious and one has no right to end one's own life. To me, it's just a choice. For now, I choose to live even though it's hard and difficult almost everyday. Even so, when I am able to be with my family for just a short while, I feel blessed having them with me. However, this will not remain as status quo. That's unfortunate.
We would feel loss of words at times, and this is a time I don't know what to say. The truth? Trying to be neutral? I really don't know because whatever I jot down may be used as a weapon against you because others have the power to. I'm almost powerless.
It's finally weekend and I can start reading up more and posting more as well. I will post on something constructive later to brighten the mood up a little. No point ruining the mood of this blog during the weekend.
So...Stay tuned till later...
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