The above is what I had experienced today. It seems that my presence is not welcoming to many in the company. Perhaps, it is because it is pretty obvious that I am poor, having a fake phone charger, not carrying branded bags, and listening to a cheap mp3 player all the time just turns them off I guess. Since the start of my employment till month, it's almost four months and my managers haven't talked to me once even though I tried to greet him countless of times. He just walked straight off without even looking at me. I guess he really regrets hiring me perhaps. Furthermore, for team meetings and feedbacks session, I am the only one not included in them. It makes me ponder why I am excluded all the time. Guess I have one more reason to switch job then. I don't want to make myself feel worse than I am already feeling.
My mum suggested that she should find some time and pray for me because she thinks that I am really unlucky and unfortunate. Apart from my daily unfortunate events, which it normal for me, she told me that when she is drying all our clothes in the sun yesterday. My jacket was the only one which a bird flew past and poop-ed on. Well, at least, that did make everyone smile a little. To be honest, I don't really believe in superstition. However, is there such possibility? Or is all of this just a coincidence?
Thankfully, it will be Friday tomorrow. I guess I will just take leave to attend interviews on my own accord forcefully since the ones I applied for are never approved. Guess that's the only way out now. I never liked to be restrained by others in the first place any way.
The weekend is coming and finally I can get majority of the reading done. I guess I will not be going anywhere as I am already empty. If you don't get what I mean, it just mean that I ran out of money and currently is negative. My lunch in recent days are just bread and coffee. No wonder I feel so tired and restless recently.
I have been wondering lately as to how am I going to save up for my course when I am always negative every month due to utility bills, rents, hospital bills, medicine expenses and of course everyday necessities expense which includes our food. I am still thinking about it occasionally during work, during lunch, and even now. This makes me unable to focus on my task perfectly. If only I could find a suitable solution for this....
Well, I guess I will start reading and continue with the second Java tutorial after I read a bit.
I will try to post something else later as well. Remember, one day two posts. That will keep me going.
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