I apologize for the lack of updates as I was in no condition to sit up and jot down my thoughts yesterday. I was having fever and feeling kind of dizzy yesterday and hence did not sit up and jot down my thoughts for yesterday. Now, I have forgotten pretty much about them.
This weekend is definitely an inefficient one since I was not able to get much studying done. Moreover, even now when I have the time to actually studying, my mind is wandering some where else. I am worrying about the new supervisor who I will be meeting tomorrow. Her seat is just beside me. I wonder if what kind of person she is. Will my work place environment improve or get worse than it already is? This is really ridiculous. I don't understand why I should be worrying about this since I will get to know about it tomorrow. I guess I really don't wish the situation to get worse than it already is.
It's raining heavily today right now and I am unable to go and buy my dinner. I will just go and buy when the rain stopped eventually. Some times I wonder why do I need to live in such a pathetic way. Not only do I not look forward to each coming day, all my current responsibilities and work are absolutely disregarding myself. In a way, I am not living for myself but for others currently, doing what I am expected to do and living how I am expected to live. Is this what I really want to maintain, and live my life without meaning. Does this me, I am not existing as the expectations of me keeps me from living for myself? Then, do I just disregard all these expectations and find my own way of living?
No matter what, the days are still going to come and time will continue to pass as I am still wondering about the right thing to do and the right path to take. Perhaps I am too hungry which made me think like this. Who knows, perhaps once I have my dinner all such depressing thoughts will just disappear like that.
I am unable to complete the tutorial that I mentioned in the previous posts by this week. However, I will aim it to be finished by next Wednesday. I don't want to drag any longer than that even though I am not feeling well. I want to complete it and move on to something more interesting to teach and learn. That is, on one condition though, that the new supervisor who is coming in won't make the time I reached home even later than it already is. To be honest, if the company is willing to pay me overtime, I am not willing to stay for them either, simply because I don't enjoy the work that was given to me. However, it made it worse when I am forced to stay with no overtime pay while others can just take a break and go for their dates. What can I say? Someone has to get the short end eventually, it's unfortunate that I was one of the selected.
For last week, I have been reading on the web design book using html that I have found. It's quite interesting to some extent, however, the only regret is I was not able to practice much on it as the time for me to be with my computer is really quite limited. Further more, I don't have any holiday this month which means I got to work full for every week. The only time left would be Saturday and Sunday. Yet, this month would be crucial for my family as my mother will have to go through a series of test to confirm if she would require another operation. I should be prepared for the worse. Time is really precious to me and my family, I should learn how to treasure time more and manage it well so that I will not have any regrets if anything bad happens.
Anyway, I will try to work on the tutorial a bit and come back later to jot down more of my thoughts. Though the post is depressing, I hope your time is better than mine. Enjoy the last bit of the weekend before we all got to start the long beginning of the weekdays.
Be back later.
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