Most of us would like to go out, relax, catch up with some friends or perhaps just do the things we like during the weekends. It seems like it is only normal to have plans on weekend. I have none. I was asked by one of the work place colleague (someone who I don't even see often) if I have plans for the weekends normally and what do I usually do. I guess he asked for gossip purposes or office rumors, which does not affect me much at all since I don't join in talking about such gossips. I should have think before I answered which give him an impression that I might not be normal. The answer I gave was I have no plans at all. It's entirely an honest answer. However, all I get was a strange look on his face. Of course, the conversation ended soon after. I might be in the wrong to give an honest answer, I should think properly on what are the norms for normal working adults in the society before I answered. My miss.
There is some thing that I don't understand. That is, I was told off by my new manager not to set the standard of the work too high. I guess it means I should make more mistakes and act like a newbie so that they would treat me better. I will try that tomorrow. I don't want my life to be too difficult either. Since I had a clue why I am bestowed with such terrible treatment in my work place, I should make use of the hint given and see if there is a change in their attitudes and behaviors. I hope there is because since I was not able to find a job position, I don't wish to be jobless either. However, I wish there will be phone calls for interview these few weeks, at least, I will be able to feel slightly hopeful.
When I reached home today, I wanted to start reading up my chapter one for the coursera course that I signed up online. It seems like the moment I stepped into my doorstep, my body felt a gush of tiredness, both mentally and physically. It is only at home, I can be truly relax and feel the way I have always felt. Some might wonder why did I say this, most of the time we can not be truly ourselves when we are working or studying, we have to portray ourselves as what we are expected to be. These expectations might not necessarily match your personality and character. Hence, there is a need for us to adapt, adapting doesn't mean we change ourselves entirely to match the environment completely but we are made to behave in a way that matches our environment. Well, there are those who refuse to do so and they are normally the ones who get into all sorts of troubles. Therefore, there is always this saying "It's feel the best to be home.". Though there are varying meaning to the saying but after quite a lengthy explanation I guess you are able to guess what I am really talking about.
Tomorrow is a good day to work on a code if I manage to survive and not fall asleep while typing. I guess I will be stocking up coffee before I reach home so that I am able to keep myself awake and complete more things during the weekend. Even though there are mountains to do, I can't possibly finish all of them at once. I will try to re-allocate my time and re-organize my thoughts as well. Only then, I will be able to function well and go through another hell of the weekdays trilogy.
I am definitely feeling guilty recently, my own promise to keep a minimum of two posts per day has been broken quite often recently. There are no excuses for me even if I am sick. I should be more committed to this so that I can see an improvement in jotting my thoughts more logically and smoothly as time passed. In addition to that, I would also like to see an improvement in my typographical errors and grammar mistakes. In order for me to program well, I need to learn how to express my thoughts in a logical manner as well as a creative one. So far, I know that I am not really successful in that but I will keep trying. It's just too early to give up.
I will go to bed tomorrow as I got to reach the office earlier to finish up an unfinished work that was passed to me when I off my computer at around 8pm. Definitely going to need more coffee tomorrow. Finally, I am able to understand why working adults drink coffee or tea so much even though some of them don't really like the taste of the coffee and tea. No matter what we need ourselves to be awake at work. We simply have no choice, therefore we seek solution which enables us to stay awake even though we may not have enough sleep through the weekdays.
Now, I will stop here for today and continue during the weekend. Ciao.
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