Well, I am having such thoughts lately. I don't understand why either, I just feel that either I am not good enough to survive in the current era, but perhaps the current era is just crappy to me. Either way, we are not meant for each other.
I know, life is supposed to be difficult and there bound to be obstacles you will have to face each day. However, comparatively when you see others surviving with bare minimum effort just because of their status, how unfair that is. Yet life is never meant to be fair. A lot of values I hold don't resonate with the values that we used to function these days. To be truthful, I don't even know what values we should hold to function well and blend with the crowd. Changing myself to fit? It is not like I didn't try to, I have been to events which I don't usually attend, volunteering just to learn more on social interactions and positive values, yet all I get was not what I wish to get. That might be a little vague, so here is an example: For instance, I attend events to know more people, getting to interact and mingle with them, understanding how they think. However, at the end of the event, I felt cheated, people don't really tell you what they think but they tell you what they ought to think. You will never really get to understand them through such event and hence, why do we even have them in the first place? There are a lot of things I don't understanding. I believe, it will be harder for me to understand them if I remain status quo. Yet, due to the heavy workload and stress, it is harder not to maintain status quo for me.
Yes, for those of you who find the title familiar. It is from a manga or anime. Perhaps, some of you might come across such an idea when reading novels. Now, to think, in life, nothing is in fact specific. We may have rules and regulations, we may have norms and culture so on and so forth. However, there are so much grey areas that it is difficult for you if you just stick by the rules. Yet, depending on your situations, you might get yourself into a coffin if you are not threading carefully enough. It is not like a clearly defined game whereby the winners and losers are easy to tell. As long as you are willing to commit, work hard and learn every thing there is to know about the game, it is easy to be a winner. Yet, in life, no matter how much you commit yourself to it, trying to learn everything about, working hard for it, you may not necessary live well or be a winner in life. I bet quite a number had died without knowing what they are living for. (There is a possibility that I am wrong, and perhaps I am the only one who is feeling this way.)
It's been a long time since I last jot down my thoughts. This had a negative effect on me. Now, I am flooded with all these negative thoughts that I could barely function. I can't hide the fact that I am disappointed with myself. However, I believe that I still wield the power in solving my own problems and I will still continue to try my best to solve them. I hope I will feel better tomorrow and perhaps take this coming weekend as a good time to rest and reflect upon myself and my string of thoughts.
Hope you are still holding on there. Enjoy the upcoming weekend people! Rest well and play hard.
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