Today is rather wasteful. I did not manage to do anything productive today. Hence, I feel quite regretful right now. I should have planned to have something done today. Why did I do that?
In fact, I am too worried about a medical test that I am undergoing. When I am worried about something, it is difficult for me to focus at other tasks. That explains why I had nothing done today. I have been worrying about the results for a few days now. I was told that the hospital will contact me once the results are out. It had been three to four days now but there was no news at all. I have been calling them up everyday and bugging them for the results. However, no one seems to know anything about it. Perhaps, it is still processing in the laboratory. May be further tests need to be done. Though I understand that the answer only comes with a phone call from the right person, the worry does not go away easily.
No matter what, I will try my best to work efficiently tomorrow and get some my work done. I know that I will be working on some reports tomorrow for handing over. With me gone, no matter if I did the work properly or not, no one will get to know anyway. I wonder why do I work so hard when it is unnecessary.
There are quite a number of things I need to do before Monday and a couple of them to teach the administrative staff before I leave the department. After that, everything will be out of my sight once again and most probably I would not get to see any of that ever. Unless fate wants to play a game with me.
So how is your weekend going?
I had received a sudden message yesterday from a friend who went overseas today. That's really sudden. I won't be hearing from her anytime soon.
I had planned for a movie today but I woke up too late for it. Since I do not like the crowd, it only make sense to go for the movie early in the morning. However, I woke up only at around 10am today. It is just not a good idea to make the trip down and spoil my mood because of the crowd.
So how about yours?
Originally, I was hoping to complete a couple more topics on my web development course. However, I could not get myself focus and wasted my whole Saturday away. To look on the bright side, I managed to get some rest after a long day yesterday. I doubt I will have much time to do that tomorrow as I will be working on the reports I need on Monday so that I can do a proper handover for the department. (I understand well that no one will be grateful about it, perhaps, they may think that it is unnecessary.)
Talking about motivation
Further plans seem quite milky and far-fetched. It is embarrassing to admit that I had been putting off things that I should have done up by now. One of my bad habits which have to be changed. After work, there seem to be so many useless things that bombard you in life. It is either you learn to ignore them and save your time for meaningful event or you will be trapped by them.
Right now, my status is still trapped but I am actively working to pull myself out. I want to keep myself focus and move in the direction I want to go. I do not want to be a wooden plank that flow along the direction of the waves.
What is your motivations? Do you even have one?
I am not sure about everyone but most of us have something which we want to protect. Something that motivate us to work towards. Many people in my current company talks about passion. Being passionate on the work they do and this keeps them motivated to work everyday. However, most of them tend to leave early (even before the official office hour). I wonder if they are sincerely passionate in the things they are doing. I am pretty honest with the company and told them upfront the very reason is money. Of course, I know that not all motivation should be monetary, it is important for us to look for something that align with our interest. (I must say that we do not have much choice in the first place.)
Do we have choice of the family we are born in? No. There are other environmental factors which we have no control on. We can only work with what we have, and try to make the most out of it. Well, that is how I strive to survive thus far. It worked out pretty well for me.
No matter where my motivation lies, I will always do the best I can. (Well, I need a break some time too.)
Ciao~
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